In the Spirit Of All Hallow's Eve...

A shot from this years gay pride...

Here We Go Again...

Not crasy about ol' Freddy Ferrer..,but-PLEASSSSSE-in the name of all that is unholy!!!!!!No more Billion Dollar Bloomie....

The recent ad in which he flaps his lips about 'knowing what it's like 2 look 4 affordable housing' is PARTICULARLY OFFENSIVE.
Tried 2 switch away from it 1 nite when it came on-only 2 b assulted with it on TWO other channels........Nearly had an anneruism....

The List Gets One Shorter...(A Years' Reflection)

Okay.


Came across this picture as i cleaned out the Pictures folder of my PowerBook.
My memory most resembles a sieve 4 the most part (this is ur memory...-this is ur memory after dozens of years of somewhat regular pot smoking...lol).

But the memory of this picture is CRYSTAL KLEEER (KLEEER-another inside note-2 b explained at a later date...)

Can't tell u with any real surety how old i am (obviously 3,4 or 5 are good guesses, but only from height and size assumptions).., but i remember it down 2 the sounds and smells.
I think it was 1 of the first times i'd ever been down 2 the ocean. I don't remember exactly where it was either (Sag Harbor...?).., but i remember my fear...
Just looking at the pic, u see how her hand grasps my wrist, and how my legs r planted firmly in opposition...but also note my smile.........
I would kick, and scream and yell (literally) with this woman, but i always knew i was safe...Sometimes the yelling and kicking and screaming was more because somewhere down inside..,i knew she was gonna b right about something..,and i 'hated' her 4 it....

Lol-...kids, huh....

It's so amazing how appropriate that THIS is a pic that survived the years...
Just about everything good i hold dear 2 myself ABOUT myself, was due 2 the stalwart, determined love of this complex, STUNNINGLY loving woman.
Who got nothing in return from me as the young child u see here...

But from the larger man i have become-she thankfully (i HOPE...) did get 2 know that she WAS INDEED A MOTHER.

If u know the flick AUNTIE MAME (((or Mame-The Musical-...p.s.-Why does every1 hate the Lucille Ball version so damn much.....???Lol)))-Then u knew a lil' bit of Mary Garfield...

"THE WORLD IS A BANQUET!!! BUT MOST POOR SUCKERS R STARVING 2 DEATH..!!!!"

Amen, Mary G.., amen.


Except Mary's always full martini was in a full sized re-used peanut butter jar...
Got the image...??
I didn't get 'Hush little baby..' as a lullaby...
I got "Frankie and Johnny were lovers..
He was her man...
But he done her wrong...."



But how appropriate that THIS particular moment b captured.
The unintentionally stylish (4 the time...lol), and poised woman in the picture is Mary Garfield. In many ways this woman holding my wrist is my mother (Love u, 'mom'-wherever u r...).
She fully accepted and dove in2 the unenviable position of stepping in 2 the role of caregiver 4 a scared, lonely, confused, angry, hurt but very intelligent little boy (me). A little boy who knew nothing more than he wanted his mother, as all little boys do.

EVERYTHING I LIKE ABOUT MYSELF IS DUE 2 THIS WOMAN. And also her life partner (never wife, interestingly enough...), my birth mothers' cousin-who is one of the most fascinating, complex, emotionally rich (yet totally reserved and controlled and contained) Black Men (he ABSOLUTELY deserves the CAPS...) i have ever had the pleasure 2 know well.



Found this pic of my 'dad' as well...SO glad 2 have them both...(Mind the quality of this pic, tho...and this is AFTER the fixing....)

Note the grill smoking with a HUGE slab o' some carcass...
He could grill his ass off...
Indeed this particular nite, and many like 'em are e-t-c-h-e-d thickly in my mind's eye. And heart, and nose, and hair (ever try combing pine burs outta a tender headed lil' pickininnys' 'fro....!!!!)
It was one of the upstate (or Vermont) summer places...so far up in the mountains that he wouldn't have 2 actually turn ON the car (-a bright green VW bug, mind u-!!!)..Until we were about 15 mins down the road-the thrill a kid gets from coasting in a car with an adult...........................


Wow.
And-check it-the dogs name was Toto...whom i loved even after he got old and sick and would snap at me when i tried 2 pet him...

All love 4 u 2, Herbert Mack.4Ever.....

No matter how distant we may b now that Ur back with Ur 'first' wife.... U will always have more love from me than i could ever tell u...The bass in ur whole, open laugh is still one of the most calming, reassuring things i will EVER live 2 hear. I was blessed beyond deserving 2 grow under Ur protection.

THANK YOU AS WELL (of course...lol)




[[[[[ 4GIVE THE RAMBLE AND DISJOINT WITHIN THIS POST. THE 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF HER LEAVING THIS PART OF THE JOURNEY-if she could...she would SO tell me what was next..................*smile*-

ONE OF THE FEW WAYS I 'FEEL' MY AGE IS 2 NOTE HOW THE LIST OF PEOPLE WHO U KNOW WITHOUT A SHRED OF HESITATION LOVE U MORE THAN U WILL EVER REALLY KNOW, IS SHORTENED BY 1....... ]]]]]]

Who Will Love The BlackMan...

I am 1,and i luv MANY(and not just like THAT,either...................)

Heard it said that the BlackMan loving the BlackMan
is the LAST revoulution...


Vive ala Revoulcion!!!

(yeah,yeah..,i know-the spelling-git ova it.)

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